Toonielocks
by Jad the dog
Summary: The warners take an old beloved childrens' tale and rip it to shreds. Rated PG for cartoon violance and brief inuendo. I don't own anything but the idea of this story. Please read and review. Cancelled because I can't think of anything else funny to write
1. Chapter 1

The Warner Brothers and Warner sister in

Toonielocks…

IN TEXT-O VISION!

(Author's note: Hey! I'm actually an author. Sweet! Anyway, please no flame reviews. Only positive and constructive criticism is allowed.)

The scene is in a quite, picturesque living room in a wooden cottage. The perfect place to relax… but all of that is going to change due to the uncontrollable force of cartoon randomism. Outside in front of the cottage where three little animal-like children who… (A/N: Do I really need to explain what they look like or what there personalities are like? They're Yakko, Wakko and Dot. What more do you need to know?).

"Well," Yakko said as he began to talk, which is something he is very good at "It's good to be back in business. But it's kind of ironic don't you think?"

"How's that?" Wakko asked.

"Well usually we star in cartoons or video games and everyone knows that rots your brain. Now we are in a fan fic that people read and it does the opposite," Yakko said as he finished talking. That's a first.

"Just be grateful that the author decided to use us instead of any original characters he created," Dot said. She then turned to the screen and said, "That's right Fan-fic writers. I went there."

"We might as well get on with the story before we get flame reviews," Yakko said. He then turned and faced the door and was thinking. "I guess we have to go into this house for no reason what-so-ever. Let's see if you still got it Wakko."

Wakko then stuck his right hand deep into his right ear to find some ear wax. Wakko felt a big pile of ear wax and said, "I think I found a big package!"

Yakko just starred at Wakko, turned to the screen, blew a kiss, waved his hand and said, "Good night everybody."

Wakko pulled out some ear wax and mold it into a key, but before he could use it on the door, Dot opened it and said, "Hey! It's unlocked."

"Awww," Wakko moaned, "I never get to use the ear wax key gag!"

They walked into the cottage and noticed three bowls of porridge with lids covering them. They couldn't tell if it was porridge because of the lids, but they just took a wild guess and said it was. Yakko opened the lid on then biggest bowl, and then a mutant porridge monster was starting go come out. Yakko quickly slammed the lid right back on.

"I don't know what that was all about," Yakko said "But ehhhh I think it's a bit to hot."

Wakko then opened the lid off of the middle sized bowl and it revealed that inside the bowl was a frozen waste land. An Eskimo inside the bowl yelled, "Papa! I have found food! Quick get the spears!"

"My porridge is just right," Dot said as she was eating the small bowl of porridge. "How's your bowl Wakko?"

A bunch of Eskimos were gnawing on Wakko's ears. He just bared it and said, "Too cold. But I found these stylish Eskimo earrings."

(A/N: I'm going to split this story into two chapters because 1. I'm lazy. 2. I want to put this up as quickly as possible. So just wait.)


	2. Chapter 2

(A/N: Thanks for the reviews. Now here is the moment you've been waiting for… the conclusion of Toonielocks.)

All of the sudden, the big bowl started to shake. The lid on the bowl flew right off and out came the porridge mutant.

"This is exactly why I stick to Peanut Butter Crunch," Yakko said.

The mutant monster was slowly slithering toward our heroes… and hero sister. Yakko quickly turned to his little brother and said, "This would definitely be a good time for your gag bag."

Wakko pulled out his gag bag to get his mallet to whack right on the porridge monster's head, but as soon as he stuck his hand into his little bag of deadly children's toys, one thing could come out of his mouth and that was, "Uh oh." There was a big hole in the bottom of the bag and he couldn't find his mallet or any of his comic props. Yakko looked around the room for anything heavy they could use when his eyes drew his attention towards three chairs.

"Looks like your gonna have to improvise Wakko," Yakko said as she and Dot pushed the chairs toward Wakko. Right now as Wakko got the idea, tried to pick up the big chair and whack it right on the monster's head, one thought ran through Dot's head. "_When am I going to say something?"_

Wakko tried all his might to pick up the big wooden chair, but it wouldn't budge. "Too heavy," Wakko complained. So he picked the medium cushioned chair, but as soon as he whacked it on the monster's head, the chair just bounced right off its head. "Too cushiony," Wakko complained again. He then picked up the small wooden chair and smashed it right on the monster's head. "Just right," Wakko said with a hint of pride in his voice.

But then the porridge monster just shook off Wakko's attack and was about to eat them. Dot just got up right in front of the monster and said, "Wanna see my pet?" She then pulled out a little box that was no bigger then her hand. She opened the box and out came a big, green lump-like monster that let out a mighty roar. The porridge monster just stood there scared by Dot's pet. Then the porridge monster melted into a puddle.

Then the three siblings just stood there for a second until Wakko broke the silence by saying, "What are we suppose to do now?" Yakko then pulled out a fairy tell book and read through it. "Let's see here…" He began to talk under his breath as he read the book "Enter cottage…. porridge…. chairs…. Here it is!" he yelled using his usually yakky tone "Come my sibs, let us see if there's any beds we can use to nap on."

They entered a room with three beds. Wakko plopped himself right on the first bed and as soon as he landed on it, a bunch of cracks formed around his body then he split into a million pieces like a broken statue. Dot jumped onto the second bed and it was so soft, she sank in it just like quick sand. "Friz Frieling called," Yakko said "He wants his joke back." Yakko then walked up to the third one and it was just right. Then the three just sat there for something to happen. "What are we waiting for?" Wakko asked "The writer is trying to think of a reaction for when the bears enter, see what has become of their house and find us," Yakko answered. So they just sat there for the next event of the plot to happen. They waited for hours and still nothing happened. "Either the writer is having a really big writer's block or he is just lazy," Dot said. She then faced the screen and said "You guys might as well leave now. I have a feeling the writer is never going to get around to finishing this fic."

**The End.**


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